POW! Im not sure what you intended with the paint on canvas look, but to me it has a homespun feel to it, reminiscent of macrame (I'm thinking of those "home sweet home" designs) and that lends the poem more power.
snap....first i really love your artistry in adding it to the canvas gay...very nice...vicious imagery as well...the end gave me chills a bit...just enough to keep the ache alive....
This has both an impressionist and an analytic sort of feel to me, Gay, a bit surreal even around it's more Kafka-esque bits...but very much impossible to ignore, strong, and alive--often we are most alive with that painprick, as you say.
Splatter--even so beautifully and evenly spread--would end eventually without the torture and prick and attempt to take more than was bargained for. I love that little reference to Shylock in "The Merchant . . . " --if you prick me do not I bleed"--or something like that. So to me, you are talking about a racism, an obstacle so deep, that it evokes the Nazi terror of the skin lamps, the burn, the branding, and then the goad of contemporary history which is that it is never over. Are you thinking of the latest shootings?
Wow. "Bits of skin sticking to lampshades" and "keeping the ache alive". Very powerful. Writing on canvas? Most clever & creative. Thank you very much.
A love affair turned sour? You don't make it clear. You don't have to. The reader does not always have to be given all the facts. It is moving - or at least, it is the way I read it. Congrats.
Wow, sticks and stones and words do hurt...
ReplyDeleteOuch! The ache alive...that's a killer. :(
ReplyDeletegardenlilie.com
Dang! Vivid images here, Gay! Nice write!
ReplyDeletePOW! Im not sure what you intended with the paint on canvas look, but to me it has a homespun feel to it, reminiscent of macrame (I'm thinking of those "home sweet home" designs) and that lends the poem more power.
ReplyDeleteOooh wow, incredibly powerful piece, really enjoyed this, fantastic job.
ReplyDeleteSo very wonderful, Gay. I can see that you did this on a canvas (at least that's what it looks like)...what a special feature. You are so creative.
ReplyDeleteExcellent,Gay! IT's impressionist to me. Nicely written poetry!
ReplyDeleteHank
Gay, I am impressed with the poem and the presentation! You have really conveyed feeling well here...I have known people like this.
ReplyDeletesnap....first i really love your artistry in adding it to the canvas gay...very nice...vicious imagery as well...the end gave me chills a bit...just enough to keep the ache alive....
ReplyDeleteThis has both an impressionist and an analytic sort of feel to me, Gay, a bit surreal even around it's more Kafka-esque bits...but very much impossible to ignore, strong, and alive--often we are most alive with that painprick, as you say.
ReplyDeleteWow...really hits and what a presentation a bit Dexterish.
ReplyDeleteSplatter--even so beautifully and evenly spread--would end eventually without the torture and prick and attempt to take more than was bargained for. I love that little reference to Shylock in "The Merchant . . . " --if you prick me do not I bleed"--or something like that. So to me, you are talking about a racism, an obstacle so deep, that it evokes the Nazi terror of the skin lamps, the burn, the branding, and then the goad of contemporary history which is that it is never over.
ReplyDeleteAre you thinking of the latest shootings?
It's incredible. That's what it is.
ReplyDeleteIngeniously presented ... and what a turn this took! I loved "hanging on a remembered smile".. and squirmed near the end!
ReplyDeleteThis is strong, Gay. Sharp and effervescent in its ability to strike home. UGH keep the ache alive. Cinching the ending like a pro!
ReplyDeleteA life tortured...you laid it out spectacularly!
ReplyDeletethat hurts...brings back a lot many memories...
ReplyDeleteoh dang...it is for sure very real and felt and just love that you wrote it on canvas and literally painted your words gay
ReplyDeleteLove the dull kitchen knives and the fridge door... Also I like the way you've presented this visually.
ReplyDeleteThat's just so amazing - the visual, the words, the aching stop. Just wow.
ReplyDeleteClever contrasts of homely tapestry with bitter words . Visual metaphor for how we dress ourselves to meet and greet.
ReplyDeleteTaken literally, I see hatred...metaphorically, talent..
ReplyDeleteOuch... painful write
ReplyDeleteI wonder who has been getting at you.
ReplyDeletedid you see "Dark Knight Rises" your last few lines is a running theme in that movie.
ReplyDeletefoam
No..last movie I saw at the theater was the last Harry Potter...sucky living away from the city, and when I come back, too hot & crazy to go out.
DeleteWow. "Bits of skin sticking to lampshades" and "keeping the ache alive". Very powerful. Writing on canvas? Most clever & creative. Thank you very much.
ReplyDeleteA love affair turned sour? You don't make it clear. You don't have to. The reader does not always have to be given all the facts. It is moving - or at least, it is the way I read it. Congrats.
ReplyDelete