Thursday, December 1, 2011

Ardent Wishes


                                      Would that I were not the poet
                                      Witness to your tortured soul;
                                      Warned by a guardian angel’s wings;
                                      Wondering at your absence and your need;
                                      Withering under your taciturn outward calm;
                                      Worried by your internal conflict;
                                      Wishing you pacific balm.

                                      Would that I could stay your fears,
                                      Open those dams and release the truths
                                      Buried beneath your memories.
                                      Would that I could retrieve that
                                      Watery evenness of former waters
                                      Wound through calmer pools,
                                      Woven among dreams and lotus blossoms.

                                      Would that I could take these sapphires
                                      Imitating starlight, mere twinkling reflections
                                      And trade them for almond-shaped burning coals
                                      Or unfold rosebuds, or create new rainbows.
                                      Would you then offer me the diamond
                                      Hidden in the grotto of that chapel
                                      High on the cliff of sea-lashed rocks?

                                      Would that you would champion me—
                                      My prize the feather of a dove.
                                      Holding it aloft in my sight,
                                      The feather would begin to burn 
                                      As simple as a sacred flame.
                                      It would transform me and I would turn
                                      Into an empress in a coronet of love.

                                      Would that we could dwell
                                      Beyond the cool and silvered moon?
                                      Partners traversing the Milky Way.
                                      King of hours, Queen of day.
                                      Traveling the arc of time to stay
                                      Like the lights that danced in time for us.
                                      We, in eternal song: I the lyric; you the tune.

                                      We would be caught forever in the feather’s vane,
                                      Changing as the season, a single burnished golden flame.

                                      © Gay Reiser Cannon 2010 All Rights Reserved



  1. Yours is a gorgeous lament and love song, expressing what the lover can't . . . be, do, bridge. We long for that unity of the single burnished golden flame, but there are these times when we can't stem that gap. Just wonderful.

  2. Lovely, Gay. The cadence drives home the sense of want that is denied. This would make a wonderful choice to read aloud.

  3. i like the thought of being caught up in the feather as my immediate though is the feather from forrest gump that just kinda blew around...smiles....really like the second stanza think as a poet sometimes we can do that...

  4. this is so beautifully soothing and dreamy gay..I the lyric; you the this and i so get the pacific balm...sigh..

  5. Lovely and beautiful as the Milky Way... you transported me with those twinkling sapphires and silvered moon ~

  6. this is where the beauty in poetry reveals itself

    each line flows so well


  7. I posted this because I think this is that amalgamation or synthesis of some of the devices I discussed in the article. Metaphors, similes, and images are used together and independently. I did not have in mind an allegory here; however there are several "grail legend" references throughout especially the chapel high on the sea lashed rocks.

    I would like to be better at metaphorical poems. My approach and style is so very different from Claudia's who is really a champion with metaphors. Every work of hers turns ideas into metaphoric images that become her own symbols and never fail to create music. She is someone to study!

  8. I see many of the poetic devices you so beautifully wrote about at dVerse woven throughout this stellar poem.

  9. I would turn/ Into an empress in a coronet of love.

    that seems wonderful!! ♥

  10. Gay, This reads like a classic when given voice. I read it out loud and had to read it out loud a second time. Your metaphors and similes blend smoothly with the imagery and tone of the piece. Gorgeous work.

  11. I the lyric, you the tune - one of my fav lines. such a magnificent piece - like a symphony!

  12. light and airy... gentle voice in the winds

  13. Would that I could… would that you would… but the longing to be a single flame remains just that, a longing. Sad, but a lovely lyrical poem of love's lack of fulfillment. I went to school on this piece.

  14. This piece is heavily layered with imagery - it has a gorgeous texture.

  15. Fluid, and lots and lots of emotional cargo floating towards that sea-whipped spit of land and that (empty?) chapel. The whoosh of all those W's really makes for a mood inducer, wave on wave of softly released air...good stuff, Gay. Thanks for your work, both in this everyday slog from hour to weary hour, and in that higher calling.

  16. A perfected pour of the most bittersweet wine ... doesn't make the gall go down any easier, but it manages to frame impossibility with the most gorgeous phrasings. It makes the pain ... exquisite. Fine work, Gay. - Brendan

  17. Stunning lament - love the metaphors and use of conceit - metaphysical

  18. wonderful examples of what you posted about....metaphor, simile, allusion, allegory, alliteration, and other forms of figurative language....and, it's very lovely to boot.
    ..t'were me, I'd 've named it simply ''Would...'' or ''Would That...''

  19. So much beauty and fancy in this Gay.

    I like the trip beyond the moon! And the feathered vane, of course.


  20. A great play of the requirements. Simile, metaphor, alliterations and others are very much present. You've certainly had taken time and efforts.Beautiful poem!

    P/S I've taken the liberty of extending my posting below to your helpful comments at my blog.

    Beachanny Ma'am,
    How nice of you to take the trouble for a serious view of the relationship to the d'Verse prompt. You're absolutely right!
    It was written specifically for 3WW. I later linked it to d'Verse for want of a posting immediately at hand. I didn't make any changes that was why. Thanks for the tip!


  21. would that I could ...
    Ahh I so adored, I don't think I took a single breath Gay from start of read to finish ~
    would that I could .. I would .. and shower you with all ~ hugs Lib