'
Would that I were not the poet
Witness to your tortured soul;
Warned by a guardian angel’s wings;
Wondering at your absence and your need;
Withering under your taciturn outward calm;
Worried by your internal conflict;
Wishing you pacific balm.
Would that I could stay your fears,
Open those dams and release the truths
Buried beneath your memories.
Would that I could retrieve that
Watery evenness of former waters
Wound through calmer pools,
Woven among dreams and lotus blossoms.
Would that I could take these sapphires
Imitating starlight, mere twinkling reflections
And trade them for almond-shaped burning coals
Or unfold rosebuds, or create new rainbows.
Would you then offer me the diamond
Hidden in the grotto of that chapel
High on the cliff of sea-lashed rocks?
Would that you would champion me—
My prize the feather of a dove.
Holding it aloft in my sight,
The feather would begin to burn
As simple as a sacred flame.
It would transform me and I would turn
Into an empress in a coronet of love.
Would that we could dwell
Beyond the cool and silvered moon?
Partners traversing the Milky Way.
King of hours, Queen of day.
Traveling the arc of time to stay
Like the lights that danced in time for us.
We, in eternal song: I the lyric; you the tune.
We would be caught forever in the feather’s vane,
Changing as the season, a single burnished golden flame.
© Gay Reiser Cannon 2010 All Rights Reserved
Yours is a gorgeous lament and love song, expressing what the lover can't . . . be, do, bridge. We long for that unity of the single burnished golden flame, but there are these times when we can't stem that gap. Just wonderful.
ReplyDeleteLovely, Gay. The cadence drives home the sense of want that is denied. This would make a wonderful choice to read aloud.
ReplyDeletei like the thought of being caught up in the feather as my immediate though is the feather from forrest gump that just kinda blew around...smiles....really like the second stanza gay...it think as a poet sometimes we can do that...
ReplyDeletethis is so beautifully soothing and dreamy gay..I the lyric; you the tune...love this and i so get the pacific balm...sigh..
ReplyDeleteLovely and beautiful as the Milky Way... you transported me with those twinkling sapphires and silvered moon ~
ReplyDeletethis is where the beauty in poetry reveals itself
ReplyDeleteeach line flows so well
Peace
I posted this because I think this is that amalgamation or synthesis of some of the devices I discussed in the article. Metaphors, similes, and images are used together and independently. I did not have in mind an allegory here; however there are several "grail legend" references throughout especially the chapel high on the sea lashed rocks.
ReplyDeleteI would like to be better at metaphorical poems. My approach and style is so very different from Claudia's who is really a champion with metaphors. Every work of hers turns ideas into metaphoric images that become her own symbols and never fail to create music. She is someone to study!
I see many of the poetic devices you so beautifully wrote about at dVerse woven throughout this stellar poem.
ReplyDeleteI would turn/ Into an empress in a coronet of love.
ReplyDeletethat seems wonderful!! ♥
Gay, This reads like a classic when given voice. I read it out loud and had to read it out loud a second time. Your metaphors and similes blend smoothly with the imagery and tone of the piece. Gorgeous work.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful ending!
ReplyDeleteI the lyric, you the tune - one of my fav lines. such a magnificent piece - like a symphony!
ReplyDeletelight and airy... gentle voice in the winds
ReplyDeleteWould that I could… would that you would… but the longing to be a single flame remains just that, a longing. Sad, but a lovely lyrical poem of love's lack of fulfillment. I went to school on this piece.
ReplyDeleteThis piece is heavily layered with imagery - it has a gorgeous texture.
ReplyDeleteFluid, and lots and lots of emotional cargo floating towards that sea-whipped spit of land and that (empty?) chapel. The whoosh of all those W's really makes for a mood inducer, wave on wave of softly released air...good stuff, Gay. Thanks for your work, both in this everyday slog from hour to weary hour, and in that higher calling.
ReplyDeleteWOW.... I love this ....
ReplyDelete*dreamy sigh*
A perfected pour of the most bittersweet wine ... doesn't make the gall go down any easier, but it manages to frame impossibility with the most gorgeous phrasings. It makes the pain ... exquisite. Fine work, Gay. - Brendan
ReplyDeleteStunning lament - love the metaphors and use of conceit - metaphysical
ReplyDeletewonderful examples of what you posted about....metaphor, simile, allusion, allegory, alliteration, and other forms of figurative language....and, it's very lovely to boot.
ReplyDelete..t'were me, I'd 've named it simply ''Would...'' or ''Would That...''
So much beauty and fancy in this Gay.
ReplyDeleteI like the trip beyond the moon! And the feathered vane, of course.
xo
A great play of the requirements. Simile, metaphor, alliterations and others are very much present. You've certainly had taken time and efforts.Beautiful poem!
ReplyDeleteHank
P/S I've taken the liberty of extending my posting below to your helpful comments at my blog.
Beachanny Ma'am,
How nice of you to take the trouble for a serious view of the relationship to the d'Verse prompt. You're absolutely right!
It was written specifically for 3WW. I later linked it to d'Verse for want of a posting immediately at hand. I didn't make any changes that was why. Thanks for the tip!
Hank
would that I could ...
ReplyDeleteAhh I so adored, I don't think I took a single breath Gay from start of read to finish ~
would that I could .. I would .. and shower you with all ~ hugs Lib
Just beautiful, Gay!
ReplyDelete