The North wind swears; autumn rains fall.
Strangers gone, locals walk the beach alone.
Markers out to heed a coming squall;
on shore broken shells crushed by stones.
A heart lies beating in the sand
rejected by her one true love.
I leave it where he aband-
oned it in the eddies of a cove.
Autumn looks the same on shore;
yet the heat's cooled, the steam gone.
Perhaps the owner of the heart will pour
herself back on the beach, restored again to one.
The north winds praise and teardrops fall
I walk the beach again alone;
your memory still holds me in its thrall
I remember us and watch the sinking sun.
© Gay Reiser Cannon * 2011 * All Rights Reserved
A beautiful poem & haunting picture... 'I remember us and watch the sinking sun' ~ lovely and poignant
ReplyDeletelove the poured back onthe beach part...sad the final stanza...walking the beach alone...and the settingsun makes for a great symbolism....
ReplyDeleteA beautiful write, Gay. I wish I was one of those locals. Gorgeous photo.
ReplyDeleteBeautifully crafted, poignant poem with a Yeatsian ring to it, Gay. xxxj
ReplyDeleteBeautiful poem, sad and poignant piece, with a gorgeous photo to match. :)
ReplyDeleteLove your Autumn Beach Song. Makes me want to find a beach and take a walk at sunset.
this rings so sad...walking the beach alone and walking it alone is so different..never heard about the chinese love poems..
ReplyDeleteA natural romance to these words, bittersweet in its simple beauty.
ReplyDeleteGene
This is such an evocative mood piece, complimented by the beautiful photo... it all cries of loneliness.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful poem. I had a picture of it in my mind as I read through it. Nice description.
ReplyDeleteAwww How sad and poignant, very deep, lovely.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful poem, Gay.
ReplyDeleteI had planned to feature Chinese Love Songs some of the oldest poems known this week. They date back to more than 1000 years BCE.
ReplyDeleteHowever I changed my mind as it isn't really easy to get that into an English form - but the way I understood it was that there should be four stanzas of four lines and they should rhyme. More importantly each line should hold two images. I tried to do that here but may not have managed EVERY line. These are done in Chinese by four pictographs per line.
So I changed my mind and decided to cover Haiku and Senryu on Thursday. I could write eight articles about them!
'Love the creativity especially in these lines:
ReplyDelete"A heart lies beating in the sand
rejected by her one true love.
I leave it where he aband-
oned it in the eddies of a cove."
Love how you play with aband- -oned (the separation of the word itself graphically illustrates the separation of two (in)to one).
Really lovely poem accessible yet meaty layers of feelings and images.
That is a stunning picture to match your exquisite words. Memories are so powerful, and the changing seasons only enhance them for me. Sometimes I do this with songs, too. They remind me of specific memories. Really beautiful all the way around :)
ReplyDeleteI am reminded of my ex wife before she was assimilated by cancer. A nice, evocative write
ReplyDeleteVivid post. I had to reach down and make sure my heart was still inside of me... It was gone, ripped from me,and left on that beach. Stunning...
ReplyDeleteDo like this... the pic very cool (did you take it)... a broken heart does seem to begin to heal when the view is larger than one self.
ReplyDeleteThe best time to visit the beach when it owns only you. Love aband-oned. Wonderful poetry.
ReplyDeleteBeth
The picture was a amazing and the poem just added to it's beauty
ReplyDelete"Perhaps the owner of the heart will pour
ReplyDeleteherself back on the beach, restored again to one."
This is a very fine love poem, Gay, whether it meets the criteria for that form exactly or not...the images are crisp as autumn and sad as the moan and wash of the sea ebbing away as the tide goes out. Beautiful, and look forward to Thursday--I haven't touched haiku in a long time.
You draw clear parallels between the seasons of the sea and the stages of a dimming relationship. This emotion-filled piece sings melancholy as well as peace.
ReplyDeleteI always think fall is a better season for love...
ReplyDeleteLike your connection with summer and love and the beach season. Looks like it fits the form, but I would have to review. Never tried on because of difficulty. Just a beginner here. Read very well! I do read a lot.
A poignant parody of pain, longing to be together, yet left to walk the sands alone.
ReplyDeleteI kept thinking to myself as I read: this ought to be sentimental, but it isn't. It's wonderful. Louise put her finger on it: it's haunting.
ReplyDeleteEvocative and full of authentic feeling & regret.
ReplyDeleteI love how you distill these thoughts and images into such a compact package. You're very skillful in incorporating nature as a mirror of the soul. I enjoyed this a great deal.
ReplyDeleteso full of wonderful images and especially you leaving to walk the sands alone
ReplyDeletehttp://gatelesspassage.com/2011/10/04/memories/#comment-1442
what a nostalgic, rich piece. the opening line grabbed me. sinking sun left me in cool sands.
ReplyDeleteThanks to each of you for coming by, reading & commenting. I would like to respond to you individually but I appreciate the insightful way you looked at the poem.
ReplyDeleteNo one has ever compared my work to Yeats before. That's pretty high cotton!
Autumn looks the same on shore;
ReplyDeleteyet the heat's cooled, the steam gone.
Perhaps the owner of the heart will pour
herself back on the beach, restored again to one.
well fine tuned lines, well done.
oh, my, inspired by a poem in a different language,
ReplyDeletehow amazing.
lovely imagery.
wistful and beautiful, really like the form and the imagery is gorgeous...as well as the image :)
ReplyDeletea heart lies beating in the sand... this image and the sound of these words will stay with me.
Gorgeous poem! I've never heard of the Chinese Love Poems either, but I was intrigued after reading your poem. They do seem rather difficult, but yours was beautifully descriptive.
ReplyDeleteCrisp and lonely,Gay! The pic gave a supporting effect. Excellent verse!
ReplyDeleteHank
P/S May need to check on the saijiki. May give future haiku a semblance of class even.
amazing photo, it would feel very empty to walk that boardwalk alone, beautiful write, perfect
ReplyDeleteThis took my heart away, Gay. A heart beating under the sand.
ReplyDeleteSadder than the ocean in the autumn....
And that photo is so amazing!!
North wind swears... wonderful anthropomorphic fallacy right there. Nice work Gay my friend. Hoping all is going OK
ReplyDeleteAgree with Luke. The North wind swears--such a great opening; lovely poem.
ReplyDeleteThe form reminds me of the Malay pantun..
ReplyDeleteGreat adventurous poem, Gay.