Pages

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

A Winter Sunset



Clouds freeze the winter sky
bare-bones of bark crisscross it,
soul haunting as a woman’s cry.

The aging house sags against

its ghostly garden in shredded rags
of summer’s last silhouette.

Sullen wind shrieks through shadows

whipping loosened boards leaving
frost to veil the timeworn windows.

An aperture to sky opens and

a single ray of light, delicate as a thread,
reveals a dried and broken chrysalis.

What butterfly has fled?


(c) Gay Reiser Cannon * All Rights Reserved


39 comments:

  1. Interesting piece, nice play off winter in the middle of summer, enjoyed the change of pace, nicely done!

    ReplyDelete
  2. great images with these lines:

    "The aging house sags against
    its ghostly garden in shredded rags
    of summer’s last silhouette."

    lovely share~

    ReplyDelete
  3. Gay! You have captured the soul of Old man winter as the North Wind blows up against that house. It is death and rebirth, as we end with the question. Beautiful write! (feels like a Nova Scotia winter to me!)

    ReplyDelete
  4. somewonderful textures to this gay...the stark and dark imagery pierced by the ribbon of light...a chrysalis...wonder what was born?

    ReplyDelete
  5. I especially like your vivid second stanza.

    The chrysalis, with its implication of new life, gives us an unexpected contrast with the endings we associate with winter's appearance.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wherever that butterfly went, I want to go there. Not a critic, so all I can say is while reading this I shivered with cold breezes...and it is warm here in S Florida--grin!

    Is that whence came "Shiver me timbers"? (Of course not...but...!)
    PEACE!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Love tercets and they work extremely well here with the line enjambments. You've somehow managed to paint 'cold' onto the page, so much so that I can feel it.

    bark bare-bones crisscross it - great line.

    ReplyDelete
  8. @Steve - NB - Thought I would look it up (Wikipedia) Shiver my timbers (or shiver me timbers using the possessive me) is an exclamation in the form of a mock oath usually attributed to the speech of pirates in works of fiction. It is employed as a literary device by authors to express shock, surprise or annoyance. The phrase is based on real nautical slang and is a reference to the timbers, which are the wooden support frames of a sailing ship. In heavy seas, ships would be lifted up and pounded down so hard as to "shiver" the timbers, startling the sailors. Such an exclamation was meant to convey a feeling of fear and awe, similar to, "Well Blow Me Down!", or, "May God Strike Me Dead". Shiver is also reminiscent of the splintering of a ship's timbers in battle - splinter wounds were a common form of battle injury on wooden ships ('shiver' means splinter in some English dialects).

    ReplyDelete
  9. What gorgeous imagery and somber mood! I love this.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Beautiful poem, Gay-- so evocative of the cold, and an unexpected, gorgeous turning back, the husk of the chrysalis, and exquisite last line. xxxj

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ah, the cool...so welcome when it isn't actually here, but rather its melting opposite. This is more chilling than cool, and yet it also brings a feeling of balance and the cycles of life, ending with the frozen chrysalis evoking the long gone butterfly that still will come again. Ah, the cool of those crystal images..did I already say that?

    ReplyDelete
  12. gay your poem makes winter so alive that i start freezing in the middle of summer. you paint such a haunting picture that the chrysalis and butterfly lines in the end have a tremendous power..

    ReplyDelete
  13. Haunting. Leave me thinking about all the lives who have left their bodies as well.

    ReplyDelete
  14. "reveals a dried and broken chrysalis.

    What butterfly has fled?"

    another way to look at this is the way different people see different things in clouds.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Nice capture in your words today. Looks like we're both sensing the change in the seasons. I really enjoyed this line: "Sullen wind shrieks through shadows", it's so alive.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Nice to feel breath of cold air after days on end in this summer heat!

    'Sullen wind shrieks through shadows
    whipping loosened boards leaving
    frost to veil the timeworn windows.'

    Love the icy pictures you've painted with your words in this. Beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Love the imagery... the icy feel of wind at ones back, creeping in through the timbers.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Lovely, I am sitting here in the mountains where it is 45F so I felt the cold air coming through the window while I read. Thank you, you always give us such rich work.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I loved how you captured the sunset, the darkness that begins to set in and as a result how we are able to see those thin threaded rays of light clear and distinct.

    ReplyDelete
  20. What a vivid imagery and i liked the way you spoke of life and death from winters' way..
    Nice and thanks for stopping by at my blog today...

    ReplyDelete
  21. What a delightful, haunting piece! It is unusual for a poem to end with a question also, but it is perfect here. One never knows what to expect on these bloghops, but often they are like Christmas morning when the most beautiful gifts are presented. This is one of them; many thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  22. great imagery and alliteration, desolation, yet ending with a butterfly of hope.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Such a lovely write...and the hope of sky opening as a butterfly passes into new life...thank you..bkm

    ReplyDelete
  24. I saw the shaft of light while shivering from crystal cold. You evoked sensations, titillated the senses, then made me wonder about the butterfly that fled.

    ReplyDelete
  25. This is beautiful. I especially like,

    "Clouds freeze the winter sky
    bark bare-bones crisscross it,
    soul haunting as a woman’s cry."

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  26. Such beautiful lyrical poetry.. That second stanza is sublime with the melancholy mood maintained throughout the piece.

    ReplyDelete
  27. This evoked a strong sense of loneliness and loss for me. It struck me that the image, your background, the words...everything seems "blue." But beautifully expressed.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Delicate imagery in this piece, I could feel the cold, which is nice for a hot summer day! Really wonderful write ~ Rose

    ReplyDelete
  29. very nice Gay. Your mastery of visual device is notable

    warmest

    ReplyDelete
  30. Today was 102 - it's like a cold front has come at the bidding of the coldest poem I could think to write. Any comfort is good. There are children playing on grass turned to rubble in the park across the street and I finally got my poor car fixed. It set me back a grand..I guess that's to be expected too!

    Thanks everyone for coming by and leaving such kind comments. I guess my poems have taken a bit of a darker turn lately. I'm thinking hard about one for tomorrow. John is hosting FormForAll and we're learning Ghazals and I'd never even heard of them before! We'll have to put on our thinking caps as the grade school teachers once said! See you all tomorrow, I hope!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Wonderful show of winter in the cold bringing shivers of the Cold Front. Beautiful imagery.Thanks for dropping by.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Meant to check out on the Ghazal but slipped my mind. Is it played with a stringed instrument of Middle Eastern origin? Just curious.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Yes apparently (according to my peek at the article) Ravi Shankar introduced it to the West in the 1960s but it accompanies the words. Stand by until tomorrow 8pm UK, 3pm US Eastern.

    ReplyDelete
  34. My favourite verse is the last. So evocative!

    ReplyDelete
  35. I love to write ghazals! (But I write 'free ghazals' without sticking to all the rules; rather to the feel of them, that lovely discontinuity.)

    ReplyDelete
  36. The imagery is so fine and believable, I fell right into this poem.

    The ending is almost Japanese! LOL!....I love this transition.

    Beautiful Gay. Beautifully done.

    Lady Nyo

    ReplyDelete