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Thursday, August 15, 2013

Swelter

From Wiki-commons
If one
lives here one knows
the nearly constant summer.
March sprouts each time with hope pale green;
the grass awakes before the sun begins to bake
the blades that switch to white, a white that shades at dark
to gray then chars by hours and degrees to deepest black.
Each day the shadows ink the fields, the homes, the dreams
as buildings block the white hot blaze that cooks
the air and fills one's lungs with lust
for winter frost, for snow —
to numb, to cool
one's soul.

A mathematical poem in iambic feet starting with one and
advancing to seven feet and then retreating from six feet to one in
answer to Tony Maude's challenge today at d'Versepoets
where we're making poetry count today!

© Gay Reiser Cannon * 8/15/2013 * All Rights Reserved




26 comments:

  1. smiles....thanks for marking the feet for me...i long for autumn, if we could just stay in autumn and calm the ardor of the suns embrace...the cooler mornings are def nicer right now....i like the shadows ink...it gets to the dreams...very cool write gay....

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  2. Yes... thanks for the feet, Gay. Enjoyed this.

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  3. I like the meter and the shape too -- really well done!

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  4. Beautifully composed and carried out, Gay.

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  5. I enjoyed this very much, it reads very well.

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  6. Oh I love iambs ...... I should do a fibonacci feet poem later on... The rhythm of the iambs makes it an excellent read. And the progression is so suitable for a circle of life poem

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  7. i love how you made this your own, as only you can. I like your footed triangle.

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  8. Very impressive Gay ~ I specially love this:

    the blades | that switch |to white, | a white| that shades | at dark
    to gray | then chars |by hou|rs and| degrees | to deep|est black

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  9. Ah, you took the plunge - feet first.
    A bit like bungy jumping.
    Don't you think that these numbered poems are an inbetween stage for free verse and form? Not being partial to free verse, I find that they help me loosen up a bit. Unlace the corset, so to speak:-)

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    1. Oh, I'm not sure. I have historically written in free verse. I only started to write form poems after I started writing form articles. Even so, I'm not terribly slavish to rhymes. Most of my rhymes are slant or half rhymes. I also take a few liberties with meter but I try to stay as true as possible. I think it's more about having the poem be a poem, and letting it be what it has to be. With form poems I try to get something that wants to be musical, rhythmic, dance like, then it seems to work better. Abstracts for me are like pouring words out of a bottle.

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  10. Fabulous write, Gay - and thanks for marking the feet for us too. I'm interested to see that you have a mark in hou|rs - that's a word where I'm never sure about whether it is a trochee or not; I guess it depends on your pronunciation.

    And I love the shadows inking the fields, homes and dreams - that's a geat image.

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  11. I love your summer poem but found the marks off putting,makes it too hard to read.

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    1. I thought it might be offputting as well; however, as Tony had linked to my article and I didn't do anything very fancy - just a number progression I decided to mark the feet. I'll probably replace the post without the the breaks when the next dverse post comes up today. You're invited to come back then.

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  12. oh i hear you... we had an extremely hot summer this year...and there were days i wish i could pull out a wand and put up some clouds on the sky to cool down a bit... very cool job on the form Gay - and how cool that you marked the feet as well... that's a fantastic example

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  13. How nice of you to indicate the feet! It makes it a lot easier to understand and appreciate. Cool word craft Gay! Brilliant!

    Hank

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  14. Love this, beautifully written.

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  15. I love feet, this really appeals to me - the acoustics of it!

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  16. Love it. Wonderful rhythm.
    Anna :o]

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  17. ...splendid touches & i like this quite a lot... ah.... smiles...

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  18. Exceptional I really experienced this poem!

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  19. Felt it and saw the grass burn as it reminded me why I like winter.

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  20. Agh. A real sense of the heat here. My brother lives in Texas and my mom in Florida! And I grew up in MD - so can appreciate that mind-numbing burn. (Though this hardly numb.) Thanks, Gay. k.

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