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| Original Composite |
peeled the onion and
found the cosmos
in 88 on black and white
drinking mocha café on
red plush -- scented cinnamon
some way the layer
of Footprints turned the table
sliding in under Biencavo
we found a Time For Love
it
wasn't easy
converting you to
floor sitting
but
i saw your hair wave in time
to the movement of the keys
and although you swore
But Not For Me...
those fellas you hung with
said you went there alone
to absorb the splats
the licks, the... COOL
being all pink, gray & unsquare
I dreamed martiniNewYorkParis
you said no just bootlegmoonshineCarolinaPines
I heard Calypso in the hammers,
and Poinciana on an island breeze
and Poinciana on an island breeze
. .
. . .
. . .then Ahmad Jamal ceased.
You breathed pleas
in my shell-like ears
when words like that to me
were
Strictly Taboo.
© Gay Reiser Cannon * All Rights Reserved * 9.12.13
Your poem is very well'played,' Gay. I love the hair waving in time to the movement of the keys, and finding the cosmos on 88 in black and white. Really liked Strictly Taboo ending as well. You've written beautifully an entire experience here! Or perhaps just 'cool jazz.'
ReplyDeleteYou manage to get my foot tapping even as I blushed a bit secondary to the raw sensuality of this piece; perfectly illustrative of your jazz prompt, more melodious it could not be, & the harmony is beautiful, sad, lusty, & delicious; thanks for setting the beat, Gay.
ReplyDeletelove how you set the stage with the descriptions in the first stanza and then take us into another world--- the land of music-- one can get so lost in it-- it was a special time - i'm a bit envious that you were there and experienced it first hand...so very cool gay
ReplyDeletei'm so looking forward to the prompt...
I like the tone and the sensuality of your poem? Great ending!
ReplyDeletecame back for a second read... love and jazz...if they go hand in hand...how much better can it get... smiles.. love the whole mood in this gay
ReplyDeleteThe capitalized words are the names of songs played by Ahmad Jamal - I grooved them into the poem for a little extra improvisation (smiles)
DeleteSounds pretty jazzy to me Gay. Good 'scene' write man--cooooool!>KB
ReplyDeleteOh yes.. this is like being there at the concert. supercool absorb the COOL... yes now I know Jazz
ReplyDeleteYou created the environment beautifully. Rhythmic... lovely.
ReplyDeleteDarn that Dream.... I was watching out for a Blue Moon, but this Poinciana groove had me be-bopping along. Thank you for reminding me of a great artist.
ReplyDeleteSo it seems like your ready to noodle-it-out with us gin mill cowboys
ReplyDeletewho are everything plus, Your groove is kinda off-the-cob
but I'm down with it !!
I'm laughing out loud - har har har!
DeleteWay too far out to fathom, just way out of control. Just too cool!
ReplyDeleteWell there are some personal secrets in it since you noted. Our first coffee house in my home town was called the Red Onion. I was dating a boy from North Carolina who mostly liked Country music but I insisted we had to be "with it" and "cool". His pals said he got "hooked" and while he wouldn't concede he loved it to me, he spent some time there without me, grooving on coffee and jazz (ha)
ReplyDeleteWow! This is awesome and I loved the taboo ending.
ReplyDeletedang...i love this gay...you are speaking my language...smiles....fav lines...I dreamed martiniNewYorkParis
ReplyDeleteyou said no just bootlegCarolinaPines....ah, love me some mash up words....great story telling through this as well....
wow!!! I dig this poem so much!
ReplyDeleteYou have an imagination like no other. :)
The way you use words is a pleasure. I just like reading this with no thought to whatit says- just mouthing the words.
ReplyDeleteThis very special work in jazz--poem, painting, music, is a masterpiece, Gay.
ReplyDeleteThank You!
Thank you everyone - I'm pumped by your words. I'm so happy this resonated with you guys.
ReplyDeleteYou've captured the sensuality of jazz and what it can do to the listener. Wonderful prompt, Gay. Wish I had more time to spend on it. Hopefully in a future post.
ReplyDeleteImmaculate atmosphere is achieved here by your pitch perfect diction and phrasing. I heard the music in your words. Thanks again for the excellent and inspiring prompt.
ReplyDeleteWell, he sure got the rhythm & blues ~ Love this part:
ReplyDeletedreamed martiniNewYorkParis
you said no just bootlegCarolinaPines
I heard the calypso in the hammers
and Poinciana on an island
breeze
Oh, Gay, this sizzles! Love the combined words, and the last stanza took my breath away.
ReplyDeleteloved the titles woven in, found words, and the cinnamon scent wafting through the cool
ReplyDeleteLove the easy, romantic flow and contrast of martiniNewYokParis to bootlegCarolinaPines.
ReplyDeleteAmazing, Gay... and I love your Jazz prompt!
ReplyDeletewonderful Gay. you captured the beat, and the Beat!
ReplyDeleteNow this is what I call a very Cool jazz poem...rarely can one capture music in words and you have with this one...like the way you seamlessly incorporated the song titles.Excellent!Just a little disappointed to miss out on those whispered words in your shell pink ear. Taboo is my favourite perfume!:)
ReplyDeleteCalypso in the hammers...you know your Jazz ;) I've always like Jamal's music. Thanks for sharing Gary!
ReplyDeleteWhat a revelation.
ReplyDeleteAnd the combination with this mellow sound is just wonderful
And...oh yes: that image!
A superlative post and an inspired prompt, Gay. Thank you so much.
ooooooooooh JAZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!! LOVE IT!
ReplyDeleteAs I read this, I found myself transported to an outdoor jazz concert. Great piece!
ReplyDeleteNow that's excellent. I'm there, sitting on the floor...!
ReplyDeleteWow...you took this prompt to a whole other level! Amazing piece.
ReplyDeletePoinciana ... one of my first albums! Wow! I am so glad that you came by my blog! And this open is Jazz itself. I really enjoyed it. I think that I am just bowled over that we enjoyed the same things at the same time. It has made my day!
ReplyDeleteOh, lots of jazz here...Starting from onions (advantage of jazz poetry over jazz)...but we can eat and listen with our ears like shells...uuu - what a sound...
ReplyDeleteYou've created music through sheer word craft. Jazzy poetry all along! Brilliant shot Gay!
ReplyDeleteHank
Ain't that what jazz is about - saying all those taboo things without words? Fabulous read, Gay.
ReplyDeleteI can very much identify with this, as a floor sitter for whom certain words would have been taboo--you bring in such wonderful particular and telling details - all so captivating and sweet. Thanks. (This is Karin - Manicddaily on wordpress.) Thanks also for your great prompt. k.
ReplyDeleteThis sweeps me away.... such a wonderful mixture of romance and that easy jazzy feel.... My advice? Always stick with Carolina pines....!
ReplyDelete