The florist brought your flowers.
I wish you had been here.
Where are you?
Your dad would have wanted
to see you before...he went so fast.
I am planting the mums under the window of
your old room. Love, Mom
A child, a mother? So much implied & included in so few lines; something I never seem very good at; long-winded am I; as I am handing the Speaking Stick, I just feel the need to spin an intricate tale.
Implied can be much more powerful and out loud, can't it? BTW, I am glad you are giving advance notice of your prompt. I wish we could have that more often.
I think in the deepest of sorrows the words leave.. and we are left with the images of emptied rooms and simple flowers.. you used both prompts extremely well
Such a powerful poem..although at first I thought it was a father with flowers for his daughter and she had already gone to college or away....her window would be a wonderful place for them so she could see them bloom every year.
This note to an absent son packs to much in those mums. So much unsaid, or unsayable, and the freight of a history that kept a son away from a dying father. And the mother between, trying to mediate even after death. Sometimes too great emotion can't find the words and needs a spare address.
So very sad.
ReplyDeleteoh that is heart-wrenching gay... so much emotions in such few lines...
ReplyDeleteWhew...profound sadness. Heartbreaking, Gay.
ReplyDeleteworst kind of grief.... powerful verses, Gay.
ReplyDeleteA child, a mother? So much implied & included in so few lines; something I never seem very good at; long-winded am I; as I am handing the Speaking Stick, I just feel the need to spin an intricate tale.
ReplyDeleteImplied can be much more powerful and out loud, can't it?
ReplyDeleteBTW, I am glad you are giving advance notice of your prompt. I wish we could have that more often.
I think in the deepest of sorrows the words leave.. and we are left with the images of emptied rooms and simple flowers.. you used both prompts extremely well
ReplyDeleteI like the verbal economy and discipline in these verses. But I am not sure I know what you mean by 'planting the mums'...
ReplyDeleteAh, chrysanthemums (forgot in Europe that's what a mother is called). They were the flowers he sent to the house in honor of his dad's death.
DeleteA very moving poem, Gay! No need for long lines and numerous stanzas to convey much.
ReplyDeleteOh my, this speaks such volumes and is so open to so many interpretations. Perfect for this prompt, so sad and moving.
ReplyDeleteHow sad Gay ~ So well done with just a few lines ~
ReplyDeleteSuch tight writing, which conveys so much. Yes, in deep grief, words disappear.
ReplyDeleteSad...an estrangement suggested perhaps.
ReplyDeleteVery strong emotions conveyed here and a very sad episode. Well crafted for the prompt, Gay!
ReplyDeleteHank
Such a powerful poem..although at first I thought it was a father with flowers for his daughter and she had already gone to college or away....her window would be a wonderful place for them so she could see them bloom every year.
ReplyDeleteno matter how old we are when a parent dies, we are left feeling orphaned
ReplyDeletethis was concise and tight - very fine
Aww... we just planted a gardenia bush in memory of my mom.
ReplyDeletesad gay....the missing of the child...of the dad...
ReplyDeletethe planting under the room that used to be theirs....
heart felt
how moving
ReplyDeleteThis note to an absent son packs to much in those mums. So much unsaid, or unsayable, and the freight of a history that kept a son away from a dying father. And the mother between, trying to mediate even after death. Sometimes too great emotion can't find the words and needs a spare address.
ReplyDeleteVery adroitly done, Gay. Almost could be written on a flower card. k.
ReplyDeleteLayers of loss ... I feel for her!
ReplyDeleteGay, in so few lines, there is an outpouring of emotions. Lovely. Lovely. Lovely.
ReplyDeletethis is quite a touching and heartfelt write. so simple, yet so powerful.
ReplyDeleteThe power of this poem is in its simplicity.
ReplyDeleteProof that we don't need a lot of words to convey strong emotions.
ReplyDeleteOh, that is heart-rending. We read the few emotion-packed lines and sit back and let the implications sink it. This is so well done Gay.
ReplyDelete