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Thursday, April 3, 2014

Condolence



The florist brought your flowers.
I wish you had been here.
Where are you?
Your dad would have wanted
to see you before...he went so fast.
I am planting the mums under the window of
your old room.          Love, Mom

28 comments:

  1. oh that is heart-wrenching gay... so much emotions in such few lines...

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  2. Whew...profound sadness. Heartbreaking, Gay.

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  3. worst kind of grief.... powerful verses, Gay.

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  4. A child, a mother? So much implied & included in so few lines; something I never seem very good at; long-winded am I; as I am handing the Speaking Stick, I just feel the need to spin an intricate tale.

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  5. Implied can be much more powerful and out loud, can't it?
    BTW, I am glad you are giving advance notice of your prompt. I wish we could have that more often.

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  6. I think in the deepest of sorrows the words leave.. and we are left with the images of emptied rooms and simple flowers.. you used both prompts extremely well

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  7. I like the verbal economy and discipline in these verses. But I am not sure I know what you mean by 'planting the mums'...

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    Replies
    1. Ah, chrysanthemums (forgot in Europe that's what a mother is called). They were the flowers he sent to the house in honor of his dad's death.

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  8. A very moving poem, Gay! No need for long lines and numerous stanzas to convey much.

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  9. Oh my, this speaks such volumes and is so open to so many interpretations. Perfect for this prompt, so sad and moving.

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  10. How sad Gay ~ So well done with just a few lines ~

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  11. Such tight writing, which conveys so much. Yes, in deep grief, words disappear.

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  12. Sad...an estrangement suggested perhaps.

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  13. Very strong emotions conveyed here and a very sad episode. Well crafted for the prompt, Gay!

    Hank

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  14. Such a powerful poem..although at first I thought it was a father with flowers for his daughter and she had already gone to college or away....her window would be a wonderful place for them so she could see them bloom every year.

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  15. no matter how old we are when a parent dies, we are left feeling orphaned
    this was concise and tight - very fine

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  16. Aww... we just planted a gardenia bush in memory of my mom.

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  17. sad gay....the missing of the child...of the dad...
    the planting under the room that used to be theirs....
    heart felt

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  18. This note to an absent son packs to much in those mums. So much unsaid, or unsayable, and the freight of a history that kept a son away from a dying father. And the mother between, trying to mediate even after death. Sometimes too great emotion can't find the words and needs a spare address.

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  19. Very adroitly done, Gay. Almost could be written on a flower card. k.

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  20. Layers of loss ... I feel for her!

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  21. Gay, in so few lines, there is an outpouring of emotions. Lovely. Lovely. Lovely.

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  22. this is quite a touching and heartfelt write. so simple, yet so powerful.

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  23. The power of this poem is in its simplicity.

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  24. Proof that we don't need a lot of words to convey strong emotions.

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  25. Oh, that is heart-rending. We read the few emotion-packed lines and sit back and let the implications sink it. This is so well done Gay.

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