Tuesday, January 18, 2011
LUNA
The valleys of the moon will shine sublime
And stream across a crystalline lament.
In limelight spirits dance upon a shrine
Translucent moving through the monument.
These thoughts transmit organic elements,
Kinetic visions weaving through the line,
Behold in flux the face and form defined
Once more disguised as fair by space and time.
Each spirit rises turns and bows in fine
Intrinsic rhythms which the dancers find
Through touch--to feel the rhyme inside–
Essential when their bodies intertwine.
Their moves are bolder as the globes divide,
They tap the stairway coiling by design;
Mere shades, they seem to quiver with delight
As slipping past that coil their souls take flight.
(c) Gay Reiser Cannon * All Rights Reserved 2011
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Lovely! Seems to have been an effortless write! Flows like silk and a joy to read, with images and rhythms that jumped from the page. Thanks so very much as well for you kind comments. Looking forward to enjoying much more of your work.
ReplyDeleteGood flow, images, line breaks. Grabs the reader.
ReplyDeletethis made me want to get up and move with it...entrancing read...now fly...smiles. nice one shot!
ReplyDeleteSonnet flows amazingly well Gay, I don't know a lot about iambs, maybe you can put me right about multiple syllabled words at the end of a line, because thx tenth iamb is the stress? I was just looking at the word delight in the next to last line.
ReplyDeleteNonetheless Luna shines bright, and is a diamond in your repertoire ;) big jigs from Wales x
oh gay - this made me feel like flying - you wrapped me in soft blankets with your words and the gentle rhythm...beautiful - beautiful - beautiful
ReplyDeletebeautiful! indeed
ReplyDeletemade me also want to take flight!
well done
thank you
as always, a truly amazing poem!
ReplyDeleteThis just flows. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteThis is exquisite and perfect for the moon we have right now. Your meter and rhyme seem effortless. My one shot:
ReplyDeletehttp://liv2write2day.wordpress.com/2011/01/19/old-love-one-shot-wednesday/
This one flowed so beautifully, Gay.. I reveled in the images it created in my mind... lovely!
ReplyDeleteYour play on words was smooth and so effortless... it gave a rhythmic song-like feel to the poem... really enjoyed it!
And yes, I totally see the 'crystalline' effect.. :)
Oh.. and the picture you have chosen for the poem is a perfect fit for the words in it! What a delight this was!
Thank you. I wrote a lot this week, and this was a re-work of an old poem; it's better in this incarnation and I adore the picture. It was just a web picture but if the moon looks like that in Greece, we all need to book a trip together! Maybe the stars ARE brighter there than the Texas panhandle. Inquiring minds want to know!
ReplyDeleteGoodness, Gay, this is excellent. Lovely liquid images and as others have said, a wonderful flow and build. I can almost see the spirits dancing.
ReplyDeleteSome great complex rhyming, especially in the beginning. You follow a strict form and do so well. Pretty smooth flow throughout. I keep staring at the image. Wow! I'm sure you'll find out if the moon looks like that in Greece. lol Bon Voyage! Fine composition.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful picture you paint, even without that amazing photo...love it.
ReplyDeleteLovely write Gay, bringing forth the beauty of monument and moon...into a beautiful dance of words..bkm
ReplyDeletecomplicated but a very flow
ReplyDeleteWow. I could not leave the picture but when I did I could not leave your words. Soon my feet will touch the ground and once I have landed I will read it again. I took flight and had no destination in mind...thanks.
ReplyDeleteIt's beautiful and mysterious, and so packed with imagery I can easily picture these ancient dancers. I love the last line.
ReplyDeleteVery thought provoking. I am so glad that we had the opportunity to meet. I hope you enjoy the remainder of your UK stay oh and here is a link to Dave King's blog swing by and sya hello!
ReplyDeletehttp://picsandpoems.blogspot.com/2011/01/3-haiku_22.html
reading you is a treat.
ReplyDeletetimeless imagery.
keep it up.
Greetings, Happy Sunday! Blessings…
ReplyDeleteFriendship Awards, Enjoy!
Thanks for the support, You Rock!
xxx
Wow, that's a fantastic pic!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful flow and imagery, now I wanna fly...
ReplyDeleteYour poetry is beautiful, like watching a dance with words. Thank you for stopping by and for your nice comment.
ReplyDeleteclaudia sent me somewhere to see pic of the trip...and i cant find my way back, but looks like you had fun...
ReplyDelete