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Monday, February 21, 2011

Nocturne Opus II





              Attic red-figure  - Dinos Painter 'meanad' stamnos
                   Naples, Museo Nazionale Archeologico
 



Beyond the crest of orchid twilight's wave
Awaits a darkened ocean filled with night.
I sleep while clouds reveal the truth as bright
As daylight casting shapes in Plato's cave;
The clouds conceal the burning stars which pave
A spiral route to space in streams of light.
In dreams I leave the earth and scan the night
To search for meaning in an altar nave.
I hear the music winding down the years
The pipes of pan reveal inspired designs.
Toccatas thread through empires lost and won.
The lyre, the drum that strum both time and tears
And through each song weave a capella lines
That etch a unique answer sun to sun.



Published 12-2011
by Willow Tree Press
© Willow Tree Press * 2011

28 comments:

  1. A beautifully rhythmic piece that brings to life the vase and its engraved story as if the spotter were reciting upon its conception....bkm

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  2. oh - i love this gay - is it an italian patriarchan sonnet..yes..?
    here drips the music from your page right into my heart..love it

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  3. It is a Petrarchan Sonnet and I think in fairly regular iambic pent. Thank you Barbara and Claudia for your kind comments. I love when you come by!

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  4. lovely flow and imagery...what is it with music...smiles...the second stanza esp, i can hear it in your words. did i hear a rumor i might be seeing you in NYC?

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  5. Ah yes. I have a ticket to ride..woohoo! Didn't hear if Claudia's coming or not. Don't expect Pete but all the rest of us perhaps...yay!! Thanks for the comment. We all do love music a lot. I wrote this to go with my Nocturne villanelle and Luna. They're kind of a set of Night Poems. Looking forward to NYC!

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  6. It's a gorgeous Italian sonnet written in shakesperian iambs. Gay it's lovely floaty and dreamlike, akin to something the great bard would have written! Good luck to all of you in NYC :)

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  7. Beautiful. You've really made the rhyme and form serve the poem's soul and spirit. I love it when people do that--I certainly can't! This one is crisp and yet wistful and as others have said, musical in all it's parts. Glad I came by early so I can read it again later. ;-)

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  8. this is so beautiful! i could hear a light drum beat in my head as i read it... so nice

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  9. I'm not one to analyze poetry...I just know what I like--and I like your stuff...a lot!

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  10. I am loving everyone's strong ending phrases today "That etch a unique answer sun to sun." Beautiful.

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  11. Zounds!!!
    Tis Like a Masters Thesis in Poetry fair Gay!!

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  12. Ah the Cave...have we ever left it? A delightful sonnet weaving us through the past, and filling our heads with truths still relevant to the modern. It's got soul - with captivating images.

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  13. 0h, I love it - words and music you make me hear and feel, just lovely, and a sonnet to boot. Well done!

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  14. Love the feel Gay a procession to the altar with music and color

    the art history backround helped me gyrate with this piece

    just awesome
    not as awesome as being your room mate in NYC
    Shorty Awards here we come

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  15. Aah...how soothing! When words to the eyes translate to music to the ears, that's when you know that it's lovely poetry!

    It is dreamtime for me, and I am all set to search for those richer meanings... much beyond Earth..

    Thanks for this beautiful sonnet, Gay..

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  16. I enjoyed reading this one.. good one shot.. Thanks for sharing..

    ॐ नमः शिवाय
    Om Namah Shivaya
    http://shadowdancingwithmind.blogspot.com/2011/02/whispers-tanka-and-search-for-being.html
    Connect with me at Twitter @VerseEveryDay

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  17. Very lyrical - sounds inspired by the very lyres themselves! Nice One Shot, Gay!

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  18. Music heard with every word...I love it :)

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  19. Oh yes. I do think I may have to kiss thee. First blogger I think I've seen yet with technically flawless sonnet... Petrarch would be proud of this one. Diction superb also; what's so important is to get beyond the form and express yourself freely enough within the confines that the reader barely notices you're writing in such strict meter etc. Or if they notice, it's with delight at nice touches like unusual rhyme that works magnificently. Italian sonnets much my pref over English (Shakespearean far overrated in my opinion); recently discovered the Pushkin Sonnet, its very nice also (that's my One Shot for this week, I think yo read it, though not a very classical theme...).

    really enjoyed your sestet, particularly the last four lines -

    Toccatas thread through empires lost and won.
    The lyre, the drum that strum both time and tears
    And through each song weave acapella lines
    That etch a unique answer sun to sun

    whether you mean 'tears' as in crying or ripping, both work, and such a fine Volta sequence to fit the theme. Bravo.

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  20. Amazing poem
    through each song weave acapella lines
    That etch a unique answer sun to sun.
    Just brilliant B.

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  21. I'm undone with this high praise. Perhaps I should die right now. Doubt I will ever receive better. I'm such a ninny I really never can measure the worth of my own work. But thank you all for your words of support. I rejoice in them as I search for another thing to write for next week!

    Luke - Clearly you know the way to a girl's heart!

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  22. Another poem I commented on early yesterday morning, the text of which has been lost... I do agree this is one mighty, flawless, epic bit of compressed fire. The poet's job, in part, I think, is to link and waltz the ages, and the descending spiral stair here is a nautilus of delight, walls a lapiz lazuli blue and salmon pink, something retrieved from eternity's tide. Each wave, each song, a fresh answer to the call, sun to sun as you say in that perfect button at the end. And this: the perfection of the poem isn't in the lyric mastery in my book, its that the lyric mastery still manages to let the deep waves arrive ... OK to add this to my collection? - Brendan

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  23. Absolutely Brendan. Thank you for your comments. I appreciate it that you came by. I was at my son's house for the last two weeks and was snatching moments to read for the last two or three days. Just began your work; didn't have time to finish but it seemed epic as much as I read. I promise to return today to read it and give it my full attention. I am always inspired by your work and I really appreciate your comments on mine. They along with others make me think and focus. I truly believe this forum is making me a much better writer. So my thanks to everyone who is so gracious to give me their time and interest.

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  24. "The clouds conceal the burning stars which pave
    A spiral route to space in streams of light."

    As I read your beautiful sonnet I am listening to an instrumental version of 'Brooklyn Roads' (Neil Diamond) and your words are so alive and powerful beyond my imagination. Your words are filled with life, and indeed stretch from sun to sun, a unique answer to enduring questions. You, your poetry, are inspirational.

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  25. This is terrific.

    There were many lines I liked (including the last), but the first hung on in my imagination...

    "Beyond the crest of orchid twilight's wave"

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  26. WOWWWW! This is so beautiful, love the effect of this poem! Love the image too! Fantastic writing/nostalgia/beauty. *Hugs ~April

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  27. A very fine Petrarchan sonnet. I don't see why Luke thinks the Shakesperean is overrated - different rhyme scheme, that' s all. The oft neglected aspect of blogsonnet writing is the volta - the transition from proposition to resolution, or change of scene, or time, at line 9.

    Thank you for your comment on my cod Shakespeare. I'm happy it seemed to amuse readers.

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