Photo Courtesy of Cabo Sails |
The waves wound through an ocean arch
A portal to a land of sky.
The clouds above were swept to match
The look that lay beyond the lea.
It seemed that in their white and grey
Across the spans of time they'd come;
And we as travelers who'd stay
Swam out to meet the greeting clouds.
The sun then drifted toward the sea
And touched the rocks with flecks of gold;
We floated there in worlds blue-green
The glade of light poured all around.
We thought we'd live in that glass ball
Where we were touched by sea and sand;
Yet days in paradise befall
Before our lives are blown by wind.
We turn again to early plains
Where wheat-like grains grow gold, then brown;
We feel the cold, awaiting rain
And sense our lives turn grey and old.
(c) Gay Reiser Cannon * All Rights Reserved * 2011
Beautiful! I love the form choice too.
ReplyDeleteThank you Emmet. How kind of you to come by and leave a note! I was working on that "consonance" thing.
ReplyDeletelooks like durdle door in dorset to me...lovely words and great rythme...well done...pete
ReplyDelete'We feel the cold, awaiting rain' a very beautiful example of rhyme..
ReplyDeleteYes beautiful easy to follow the image with the poem
ReplyDeleteBeautiful imagery and expression.
ReplyDeleteAnita.
Hey Gay,
ReplyDeleteFirst we want to thank you for all your effots in the wonderful lessons at OSP, you guide us well !
Lovely poem, our favorite stanza is
The sun then drifted toward the sea
And touched the rocks with flecks of gold
We floated there in worlds blue-green
The glade of light poured all around.
VERY NICE !
ENJOY
JL&B
I love the sense of the passage of time in this poem, from the shiny beginnings to the gloomy present, where the speaker wistfully longs for a happier past. Excellent! :D
ReplyDeleteReally conveyed the passage of time
ReplyDeleteSo I'm here to give my typical rhyme
You really described so many things with a few words
Even the sky that houses the birds
The image is the perfect backdrop
As each word you form and crop
Very nice read and enjoyed it much
Will try my best to keep in touch
Moments forever captured in your always well written and delivered manner. Thanks so much for your work with Onestop, your help, and most of all, thanks for sharing your wonderful talent with us all. Another visit to your world that was much enjoyed!
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry. I am having many problems with servers today. I have been to all your blogs & left comments but they are not sticking. I am now on my ipad and on a slow connection. I will try later...so sorry!
ReplyDeleteWhat a nice journey your words took me on...
ReplyDeleteRhyming in a suit and tie at a cello gig.
ReplyDeleteVery kool setting, words, flow. Enjoyed MUCH!
I could sense your emily inside influencing your work :) and especially love the last two stanzas, anny :)
ReplyDeleteMonty / bummy
I still don't get poetry but i enjoyed reading this.
ReplyDeleteyou paint a beautiful and enticing picture with your words and then so subtly wash it away...bid it farewell...lay it to rest like the setting sun... lovely write!
ReplyDeleteLosing your comments in cyberspace seems to be your particular curse, Gay. I sincerely feel for you, because it's almost impossible to rewrite a detailed comment and keep the same enthusiasm and thrust once its been wiped out. I like this, with all the different end rhyme types, yet a strong rhythm and 'sense' of rhyme always there and holding it well together. Also, it's just a good descriptive, moody poem.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your OSP rhyme lesson today--I always learn something from the Monday page.
Thank you everyone. I think I've now got comments up on all your pages!! And I have enjoyed them all. Just a note. I had no idea where I was going with this just started playing with the idea of the ocean and words. Then I had a memory of Cabo and thought that would work. I had finished the poem and went looking for a picture to go with. I was really lucky with this one. It was up in the common domain from a travel site in Cabo. So it's as though it was sitting in cyberspace waiting for me to use it as illustration. So fortuitous!
ReplyDeleteOh Gay, how I relate with "Tidings" is so personal! Well done, And an example of some of your rhyme 'tutorial'.
ReplyDeleteHate to admit the obvious, but it is the first time I have exposed myself (grin?) to ANY knowledge of poetry and/or rhyming. I MUST remember to try and learn, before attempting to write again. I write, like a beginning violin student plays...SCREEETCH!!!!! (And believe me, I KNOW about that!)
Thank you.
PEACE!
A beautiful image and lovely flowing lines. Sorry I am late, I have a stomach bug and it knocked me out yesterday.
ReplyDeleteJust beautiful, Gay. You have this down to a fine art, where rhymes add movement to the piece without ever overwhelming it.
ReplyDeleteMuch enjoyed.
This is a very accomplished write, full of skill and such well considered language. This is my first visit to your blog, But I'll be back. Thanks for your comment. James.
ReplyDeleteSuch a beautiful example of the delicate pattern that rhyme is. I loved reading this piece ~ Rose
ReplyDelete