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| © Greg Cannon - Cherry Blossoms above the Kiro
You turned and walked away through cherry blossom rain
As sixteen men struck the temple bell, twilight fell
I sailed across the sea walking stones by stone wall
Ta Chung words wrote your loss, I read as twilight fell
I followed flowered trails of loss into Beijing
The size of its bell crushed my heart as twilight fell
I fled from beauty and sailed beyond the Indochine
A shipmate told of the Ming Bell as twilight fell
My ears ring and bells everywhere proclaim your loss
For us the ship rang eight bells end as twilight fell
A Russian sailor remembered his land of bells
Fields and valleys echoed, he said, as twilight fell
I sailed through the Suez as far as Isles of Bells
Through shire and county bells chimed as twilight fell
Life's journey will never let me slip love's cincture
I've spent the gay-ribboned twilight ringing my hollow bells.
© Gay Reiser Cannon * April 10, 2012 * All Right Reserved
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Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Ghazal of the Bells
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that last couplet def carries the emotion in this gay...i just sit and marvel at your form honestly...the beijing couplet too is a fav...
ReplyDeleteThanks Brian - much appreciated. I've been trying to write this poem for a long time. Finally ...sigh
ReplyDeleteLovely, seemingly effortless, Gay. I especially like the first and third couplets.
ReplyDeleteyou have traveled so far gay...and not only literally...i always think when i read your work or read your comments that there is a richness of this inner journey as well..that's awesome
ReplyDeleteThanks Claudia - I'm a Thursday's Child. They say we have far to go - and I believe I have still have far to go in both regards you mention. Appreciate your comment!
DeleteI hear the extreme sadness in the ringing of the bells!
ReplyDeleteThis carries the weight, the emotional intelligence, and the psychological accuracy of experience distilled through the aesthetic sensibility of a lyric poet. Some poems require long gestations, we are fortunate you took your time with this one. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful language, and I just love the two line verses.
ReplyDeletePlus, cherry blossoms are always the best.
Great write.
Ghazal, fiendishly difficult. I was up early this morning and had three goes before I even understood what was required. Choosing the refrains seems to be the important part. You picked a nice one. I got bored with mine.Yours is a great subject as wel.
ReplyDeletethis is beautiful and you are so wonderful with form...
ReplyDelete"Life's journey will never let me slip love's cincture"
such an echo, straight to my heart.
My favorite lines...Life's journey will never let me slip love's cincture
ReplyDeleteAs I rattle my hollow bells and twilight falls.
Beautiful!
This just feels like it flows out of you--gorgeous writing, for me, especially the last couplet--just gorgeous
ReplyDeleteThe finest things in the world take a long time to reach their true potential. So glad you took time over this Gay. The resulting poem is wonderful.
ReplyDeleteGay, this is beyond beautiful. the flow is indeed effortless and the pulling sadness... brings me right into your world :'( amazing
ReplyDeleteA beautiful ringing, Gay, with every couplet a different note, and like a clear melody, the tune builds from each.
ReplyDeleteWow, this was truly wonderfully sad. I the repetition and the flow of this.http://leah-jamielynn.typepad.com
ReplyDeleteBeautiful and melancholy. Love this one, Gay!
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the lovely form Gay. I remember my challenge with writing this form. Sadness and melancholy - my sentiments with those twilight bells ~
ReplyDeleteMy blog is turning one today and I want to thank you for all your patience with me.
Cheers ~
Very very nice...the falling of twilight repeated and the closing of the day...truly enjoyed Gay...bkm
ReplyDeleteGay. Really like the form here, great use of rhyme and love the way you put this feeling to verse, very strong lines here, especially the final ones. Thanks
ReplyDeleteFor me, this is such a challenging form and how nicely you executed it, Gay. You've created such a mood and sense of place. I mentioned to another poet today that their poem served me well as a life metaphor...as does this one.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful poem!
ReplyDeletethe poem has a heaviness to them, at least to me, because when I think of bells, i think of heavy metal objects...and then the repetition also adds "weight"
ReplyDeletei admire u for using this form. i don't know how to use it at all
messy little girl
ENjoyed the journey this one took me....
ReplyDeleteGhazaliscous gay! such a strong form - pushes the motion of the ocean to a total tidal emotion... crikey i ve just stopped by Pats that guy is infectious - strong write gay - a joy to read :)
ReplyDeleteI remember the form lesson on ghazals, and attempting one...and how difficult I found it. This is musical, beautiful... I love the third and last couplets.
ReplyDeleteFabulous! I love ghazals, with their second-line repetition, and the final couplet, and this, even in its modernity, is tone perfect. I couldn't help thinking that in the classical ghazal, you end with a line that is self-referential, that even names the poet, and that you could have - without an inkling of embarrassment - put in a reference to a "cannon". Only half-kidding! - this is a beautiful poem.
ReplyDeleteI know that quote (which seems to be universal that in peace time cannons are melted to make bells, in war-time the reverse. But somehow couldn't quite make that fit the unrequited love theme; and gay didn't seem to waltz in here at all - ha. I'll keep thinking about it (I knew it was a classical requirement.) Of course, there were lots of I's just not any of my names..
DeleteI love the feeling and rhythm in this poem Gay. You can feel the resonance of the bells and their significance to each character as you read....
ReplyDeleteThe couplet form and your language are so beautiful and musical. This work looks effortless, but we know better. Simply, lovely Gay!
ReplyDeleteThis ghazal's a bittersweet ode to blossoms and twilight, that voyage from I to Thou that never quite reaches its shore or, far more difficult, has but can't or won't any more. Church bells,sea bells, monastery chimes, sea-surge rhymes, all tolling in remembrance for what sustains even as it falls. Very nice work, Gay. - Brendan
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed this but somehow it almost made me cry.
ReplyDeleteSensuous adaptation of the form
ReplyDeletesigh....this left me speechless. So SO good...the repetition rising and falling like a wave. Just so much interlinks here- a melenacholy verse thats for sure...this soaked me in twilight....
ReplyDeleteGhazal can be a real challenge. You've shown how it should be done! Astoundingly beautiful, Gay!
ReplyDeleteHank
Your words made my heart rings with sadness, and joy. This is achingly beautiful. I wasn't familiar with the form, but if this is what Ghazal is, I love it.
ReplyDeleteThis really wonderful. Charming to read as we follow the journey of the bells and the way of love running its magical cycle. You've captured so much wonder and awe in this that I am pulled into its beauty with amazement. You've crafted this with such subtle power and awareness that I only feel the presence of today as a shadow that falls on your world of the imagination. An excellent write.
ReplyDeleteIt's a piece that speaks to more than mere travels of the physical, but goodness does it set the wanderlust in me something fierce. Sitting here in a cubicle reading this, I want nothing more than to get out and see the world--though I know most these places I shall never witness. Beautiful, Gay!
ReplyDeleteGay, this is heart breaking! I am just so taken with your talent and abilities. Oh god, it makes me clutch my heart, these words.
ReplyDeleteThey are obviously from a deep place in your heart, never to be shunted aside.
They express great and enduring love, as I know you have.
Absolutely beautiful, but so heartbreaking. I can't write more because of my tears.
Lady Nyo
This is stunningly beautiful Gay! After reading your words here I realize I was lazy with the form today. I did not explore it for its possibilities. You mined it for the deep treasures of the heart, and brought forth the motherload!
ReplyDeleteWeaving a narrative in a ghazal format is not easy. This comes close to another musical form - the songs that a boatman sings. This form is quite popular in Bengali culture. Hats off to your talent!
ReplyDeleteI like the movement from bells to bells, with all their different associations. It makes it a true journey, a true exploration of the theme.
ReplyDeleteI really love the way you describe the journey in your Ghazal and how it end with a switch from fell to bells ...
ReplyDeleteThe song of the bells certainly resounds throughout this ghazal, especially in its many rhymes and repetitions. There are different journeys taking place here, all very well aligned to the simply complex nature of this theme.
ReplyDeleteIt's so good to read and enjoy your penmanship again. :-)
The word bells is so evocative, and it's as though you can hear them vibrating through this. I like the journeys--each one separate in its couplet, but all linked. "Gay-ribboned twilight" was a nice touch.
ReplyDeleteGorgeously romantic, though redolent with loss.
ReplyDelete