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Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Ghazal of the Bells


© Greg Cannon - Cherry Blossoms above the Kiro

You turned and walked away through cherry blossom rain
As sixteen men struck the temple bell, twilight fell

I sailed across the sea walking stones by stone wall
Ta Chung words wrote your loss, I read as twilight fell

I followed flowered trails of loss into Beijing
The size of its bell crushed my heart as twilight fell

I fled from beauty and sailed beyond the Indochine
A shipmate told of the Ming Bell as twilight fell

My ears ring and bells everywhere proclaim your loss
For us the ship rang eight bells end as twilight fell

A Russian sailor remembered his land of bells
Fields and valleys echoed, he said, as twilight fell

I sailed through the Suez as far as Isles of Bells
Through shire and county bells chimed as twilight fell

Life's journey will never let me slip love's cincture
I've spent the gay-ribboned twilight ringing my hollow bells.

© Gay Reiser Cannon * April 10, 2012 * All Right Reserved

39 comments:

  1. that last couplet def carries the emotion in this gay...i just sit and marvel at your form honestly...the beijing couplet too is a fav...

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  2. Thanks Brian - much appreciated. I've been trying to write this poem for a long time. Finally ...sigh

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  3. Lovely, seemingly effortless, Gay. I especially like the first and third couplets.

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  4. you have traveled so far gay...and not only literally...i always think when i read your work or read your comments that there is a richness of this inner journey as well..that's awesome

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    1. Thanks Claudia - I'm a Thursday's Child. They say we have far to go - and I believe I have still have far to go in both regards you mention. Appreciate your comment!

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  5. I hear the extreme sadness in the ringing of the bells!

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  6. This carries the weight, the emotional intelligence, and the psychological accuracy of experience distilled through the aesthetic sensibility of a lyric poet. Some poems require long gestations, we are fortunate you took your time with this one. Thank you.

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  7. Beautiful language, and I just love the two line verses.

    Plus, cherry blossoms are always the best.

    Great write.

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  8. Ghazal, fiendishly difficult. I was up early this morning and had three goes before I even understood what was required. Choosing the refrains seems to be the important part. You picked a nice one. I got bored with mine.Yours is a great subject as wel.

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  9. this is beautiful and you are so wonderful with form...
    "Life's journey will never let me slip love's cincture"
    such an echo, straight to my heart.

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  10. My favorite lines...Life's journey will never let me slip love's cincture
    As I rattle my hollow bells and twilight falls.
    Beautiful!

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  11. This just feels like it flows out of you--gorgeous writing, for me, especially the last couplet--just gorgeous

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  12. The finest things in the world take a long time to reach their true potential. So glad you took time over this Gay. The resulting poem is wonderful.

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  13. Gay, this is beyond beautiful. the flow is indeed effortless and the pulling sadness... brings me right into your world :'( amazing

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  14. A beautiful ringing, Gay, with every couplet a different note, and like a clear melody, the tune builds from each.

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  15. Wow, this was truly wonderfully sad. I the repetition and the flow of this.http://leah-jamielynn.typepad.com

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  16. Beautiful and melancholy. Love this one, Gay!

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  17. I appreciate the lovely form Gay. I remember my challenge with writing this form. Sadness and melancholy - my sentiments with those twilight bells ~

    My blog is turning one today and I want to thank you for all your patience with me.

    Cheers ~

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  18. Very very nice...the falling of twilight repeated and the closing of the day...truly enjoyed Gay...bkm

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  19. Gay. Really like the form here, great use of rhyme and love the way you put this feeling to verse, very strong lines here, especially the final ones. Thanks

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  20. For me, this is such a challenging form and how nicely you executed it, Gay. You've created such a mood and sense of place. I mentioned to another poet today that their poem served me well as a life metaphor...as does this one.

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  21. the poem has a heaviness to them, at least to me, because when I think of bells, i think of heavy metal objects...and then the repetition also adds "weight"

    i admire u for using this form. i don't know how to use it at all

    messy little girl

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  22. ENjoyed the journey this one took me....

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  23. Ghazaliscous gay! such a strong form - pushes the motion of the ocean to a total tidal emotion... crikey i ve just stopped by Pats that guy is infectious - strong write gay - a joy to read :)

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  24. I remember the form lesson on ghazals, and attempting one...and how difficult I found it. This is musical, beautiful... I love the third and last couplets.

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  25. Fabulous! I love ghazals, with their second-line repetition, and the final couplet, and this, even in its modernity, is tone perfect. I couldn't help thinking that in the classical ghazal, you end with a line that is self-referential, that even names the poet, and that you could have - without an inkling of embarrassment - put in a reference to a "cannon". Only half-kidding! - this is a beautiful poem.

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    1. I know that quote (which seems to be universal that in peace time cannons are melted to make bells, in war-time the reverse. But somehow couldn't quite make that fit the unrequited love theme; and gay didn't seem to waltz in here at all - ha. I'll keep thinking about it (I knew it was a classical requirement.) Of course, there were lots of I's just not any of my names..

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  26. I love the feeling and rhythm in this poem Gay. You can feel the resonance of the bells and their significance to each character as you read....

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  27. The couplet form and your language are so beautiful and musical. This work looks effortless, but we know better. Simply, lovely Gay!

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  28. This ghazal's a bittersweet ode to blossoms and twilight, that voyage from I to Thou that never quite reaches its shore or, far more difficult, has but can't or won't any more. Church bells,sea bells, monastery chimes, sea-surge rhymes, all tolling in remembrance for what sustains even as it falls. Very nice work, Gay. - Brendan

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  29. I enjoyed this but somehow it almost made me cry.

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  30. sigh....this left me speechless. So SO good...the repetition rising and falling like a wave. Just so much interlinks here- a melenacholy verse thats for sure...this soaked me in twilight....

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  31. Ghazal can be a real challenge. You've shown how it should be done! Astoundingly beautiful, Gay!

    Hank

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  32. Your words made my heart rings with sadness, and joy. This is achingly beautiful. I wasn't familiar with the form, but if this is what Ghazal is, I love it.

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  33. This really wonderful. Charming to read as we follow the journey of the bells and the way of love running its magical cycle. You've captured so much wonder and awe in this that I am pulled into its beauty with amazement. You've crafted this with such subtle power and awareness that I only feel the presence of today as a shadow that falls on your world of the imagination. An excellent write.

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  34. It's a piece that speaks to more than mere travels of the physical, but goodness does it set the wanderlust in me something fierce. Sitting here in a cubicle reading this, I want nothing more than to get out and see the world--though I know most these places I shall never witness. Beautiful, Gay!

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  35. Gay, this is heart breaking! I am just so taken with your talent and abilities. Oh god, it makes me clutch my heart, these words.

    They are obviously from a deep place in your heart, never to be shunted aside.
    They express great and enduring love, as I know you have.

    Absolutely beautiful, but so heartbreaking. I can't write more because of my tears.

    Lady Nyo

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