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Friday, June 29, 2012

Swift Song

Alpine Swift from Whatafly.com



This is my "attempt" at a square poem. It almost makes sense.

THE SWIFT  BUILDS  NESTS  ON  HIGH
NESTS WEAVED WITH TWINE TONGUE LAID
LAID WITH STICKS FILLED  WITH EGGS
FULL LEAVES LATCHED AMONG SWEET DREAMS
OF  ALL BOUND THINGS VOWS GRANT
SWIFTS SPRING STRONG PURE FLY FREE

I would probably write it this way:

The swift builds nests on high
Nests weaved with twine - tongue laid;
Laid with sticks, filled with eggs.

Full leaves latched among sweet dreams
Of all bound things, vows grant
Swifts spring, strong, pure--fly free.

Swifts produce large amounts of sticky saliva that glues their nests together - which are sometimes adhered to tall buildings or tall trees so that the nest is glued to it somewhat on its side. They fly at high altitudes and both parents care for the chicks. If the weather is bad and cold, and they can't hunt for them they will allow the eggs to break thus permitting them to lay another couple of eggs a few weeks later.

Posted late for FormForAll 6/28/2012 hosted by the fabulous Sam Peralta for d'VersePoets Pub

12 comments:

  1. It takes lots of efforts to do this,I'm sure. Very nicely done! I tried but didn't finish it. Nice verse Gay!

    Hank

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  2. Beautifully done..love how it begins with the nesting and ends with flying free.

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  3. Fantastic! I love the alliteration and sound.

    This is excellent: "Full leaves latched among sweet dreams
    Of all bound things"

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  4. Nicely done as well, you also were able to turn a line, which I think is greating crafting. There's soul to this.

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  5. This is a wonderful, wonderful poem, even without realizing the Carroll square surrounds its structure. Nothing feels forced, everything flows beautifully.

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  6. Excellent work - I tried and gave up :)

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  7. wonderful poem gay, i agree with sam..it flows or flies beautifully.. and also some interesting footnotes...nature makes my mouth stand wide open at times..in disbelief and wonder..

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  8. Just lovely - a beautiful story

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  9. I like the nest building and sweet dreams ~ I noted the different first line horizontally and vertically ~ Flows smoothly like it wasn't written for the form ~

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  10. omg that is awesome gay..i really like what you did with the form...i love me some nature as well...interesting on the saliva...err...haha...good to see you writing...smiles..

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  11. Beautiful flow, lovely imagery, and you threw off the shackles of form with style.

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