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| Courtesy © serialkillerstock |
Silk next to skin,
worn for sin too;
both thin and thick
might feel slick or
rough; pick a weave
that may sieve light,
deceive eyes. Flows
of wine-rose skeins
Raised rows designs --
disclose fine threads
where wine red jewel
tones bled colors
worn for sin too;
both thin and thick
might feel slick or
rough; pick a weave
that may sieve light,
deceive eyes. Flows
of wine-rose skeins
Raised rows designs --
disclose fine threads
where wine red jewel
tones bled colors
withheld from all
but royalty,
'til now when you
wrapped in blue silk
walk through to me.
© Gay Reiser Cannon
11/8/2012
but royalty,
'til now when you
wrapped in blue silk
walk through to me.
© Gay Reiser Cannon
11/8/2012
Posted today as Chained Than Bauk
@dVersePoets Pub hosted
by Raivenne
in FormForAll
Love "when you....to me".
ReplyDeleteThank you Maureen. This form proved more challenging once I tried to construct it. Not the rhymes but the ability to be fluid and have my own voice. Appreciate your reading and commenting always!
ReplyDeletesmiles....very cool gay...you helped me gain a little traction with the form....off to try again...really nice closure...and i like how it plays off the intimacy of the beginning...
ReplyDeleteThanks Brian - sorry about the late post. Lost track of priorities when I got back to the beach. Fortunately it was all done except putting everything in place and getting it on the web site.
ReplyDeleteVery nice, Gay...
ReplyDeleteLoved yours - pithy and full flavored!
DeleteYes, yes, the last stanza sings, pulls the piece together. So many directions to go with this form. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteThought yours was exceptional. You go, Glenn!
DeleteSeductively textured attempt at the form, Gay. Very nice!
ReplyDeleteGene
this is so wonderful. very sensual. enjoyed it a lot!
ReplyDeleteBeautifully wrought and the flow mirrors the yummy caress of silk. The imagery seduced my mind's eye.
ReplyDeleteAmazingly rich lines for such a difficult form. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteThanks all of you. This started out to be a birthday poem for my daughter who loves fabrics and loves to sew. I had done interesting research on silk which I found fascinating - on how it's made, processed and dyed. It dates back to 5000 bc and I'm still curious about how folks discovered they could unwind one continuous strand if they killed the pupa before it hatched. The most fascinating thing is that "The shimmering appearance of silk is due to the triangular prism-like structure of the silk fibre, which allows silk cloth to refract incoming light at different angles, thus producing different colors." I don't think as it turned out, it's suitable as a birthday poem, but I might write in a different poem something else about silk and its history.
ReplyDeleteSo beautifully done, Gay...a wonderful birthday poem and education on the properties of silk...
ReplyDeleteThanks - think I'll write a new poem for her though - this a little too uhhmm sexy for mother/daughter.
DeleteBeautifully worded, Gay! You've mastered the form. This poem has a ethereal lightness and airy quality to it.
ReplyDeleteI love that word ethereal - thank you for that!
DeleteThat is great, Gay. You make it look easy. Interestingly, as I go through the form, thinking of the form as constricting (and it is in certain ways), I nevertheless find how “modern” and updated the sound and look of these poems can be. Granted, it freezes me and maybe makes me almost stutter, but the results are quite eye opening. Great, fun form.
ReplyDeleteWell I'm glad to hear that you thought it looked easy... I wrote and rewrote and thought - "this makes no sense". When I started again this morning with a new beginning it began to flow a little better. Appreciate the comments much!
ReplyDeleteThis is really good, Gay... and flows beautifully. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteThanks Laurie, loved yours!
DeleteI admit, the all/royal/now rhyme threw me, but I fully concede to initially speaking/hearing it in my "Noo Yawk" accent. I can see how the right inflections make it work seamlessly. Other than that this is a wonderful chained Than Bauk. It flows as soft and smooth as the subject. Beautifully done!
ReplyDeleteWell now you know I have that Texas twang. We say "all" ahhll, and we say "royal" roiyall, and we say "now" nayow..so you see that's close enuf fur me. Haha! I thought it was a half-rhyme at best, but then again that's "just" me!
DeleteRaivenne - we're all enjoying this "form" so much. Thank you, thank you!
DeleteBeautiful write with words smoothly swirly inside my mind
ReplyDeleteThank you - it was a swirly (some might say squirrly) write :-)
DeleteSo beautiful Gay.
ReplyDeleteGay this is oceangirl.
Hi Lisa - Oceangirl. I have missed you! Thank you for stopping by my place and commenting. Much appreciated.
Deletewhat a gorgeous flow..i see the value of this form now..builds so smooth and yeah...flows like silk..love it gay
ReplyDeleteThanks Claudia - Too bad our country is so large, and my time is so icky these days, or I'd have flown out to see you, but not this time. Glad you've had fun and have had a chance to see so much and so many. California is truly a beautiful state! It must have been a kick in the head to be here during the election too..can't imagine what you thought of that!
Delete"withheld from all
ReplyDeletebut royalty
'til now when you
wrapped in blue silk
walk through to me."
Beautiful!
Gorgeous writing Gay. Great image found to go with this as well. A very fun form.
ReplyDeleteWow! First a prompt to stretch us and now the masterclass... thanks doubly!
ReplyDeleteFantastic! What a form! I know how difficult this was, Gay...and you come off like a master. Wonderful
ReplyDeletelovely. a nice sensual feel to this piece.
ReplyDeleteExtremely sensuous and nicely done. I wonder how you ever thought of the silk poem. Were you wearing it -- was your partner wearing it? Or were you looking through a magazine! :-)
ReplyDeleteI know it is too late, but maybe this Excel file will help others in the future to write the form.
Click here to see it!
See above notes. Thanks for the file - it might prove helpful.
DeleteNice job with your form!
ReplyDeleteHa - this is lovely - actually reminds me of that Thai silk that shows different hues when bent or folded. A very pretty poem whose rhymes weave their own (almost imperceptible) spell. k.
ReplyDeletegorgeous!
ReplyDelete♥