For Brian
set the falcon on its wing,
let it soar, let it swing,
let it roll, trace the scroll
through lightning bolts
scrape the skies, soar, turn, dive;
teary-eyed, crush the mold
fill anew, stretch, fold
watch it leave dark skies, arrive,
surprise, implode the status quo
devise, change course, rub smooth
eschew the groove, rise, raise, lift from stress
digress, unseat the goddess Poetry
reject the prize, incline toward the stars.
Regard the urge to flee, release and it flies free......
free form sonnet, internal and end rhyme, no set meter, no set rhyme scheme
for Brian's latest break the form mold prompt at d'Verse poets.
Gay Reiser Cannon * 01.22.15 * All Rights Reserved
live free or die... yes... we shouldn't allow anyone to cut our wings... great rhymes in this gay... arrive, surprise... rub smooth eschew the groove.... i like this much
ReplyDeleteexcellent flow of words, Gay... Our wings are going steady...
ReplyDeleteThese are words that make me fly. I really love how the internal rhymes intoned the rhythm of wings rather than the regularity of the meter.. The sonnet has so many many possibilities..
ReplyDeleteI never have seen such an unfettered corsetless sonnet before; what a joy to behold. Somehow you addressed the prompt squared, celebrating the writing, & nodding to Whitman, as you play tennis with the net down, as you skinny dip in a public pool, & leap off literary cliffs with a single bound, rife with derring-do.
ReplyDeleteYes, let the falcon fly...and yes, as it leaves its dark skies, may it implode the status quo and change course and fly free! Very metaphoric & beautifully penned, Gay.
ReplyDeleteI'm starting to really love the sonnet form, especially these modern types of free-flowing sonnets - free as a falcon!
ReplyDeleteI wanna throw a sword in a field and yell FREEDOM...if only I was wearing a kilt you know....wonderful rhythm through this....don't know if you saw my note to you in the TAGS for the post at dverse...ha....smiles...you have taught me so much friend....
ReplyDeleteNever apologies from you, dear friend. Your work ages like fine wine. When I first read your work back in the one stop days I scratched my head and said - wow! here's something new. You never quit bringing the new but you have infused it with what is rich, and deep, an impasto of language built in novel ways expressing a different way of looking out, a way of uplifting while still revealing layer by layer.
DeleteSonnet-breaking is nearly as traditional as sonnet-writing. All the great poets do it; Shakespeare, Milton, Heaney ...
ReplyDeleteI love the free flow of this, Gay; you've really let your words fly free.
I like how your lines read like a manifesto. Soaring and rising so high we can risk to be write free from any kind of pressure is what so many of us dream to achieve.
ReplyDeletethis would work perfectly as spoken word. I love "messing" with the form of sonnets, so this was right down my alley!
ReplyDeleteBy the by, Gay; thanks a ton for the wonderful comment you left over at my site. As in the marvelous response you gave to Brian's comment, your spirited interesting verbosity really intrigues me today.
ReplyDeleteThanks. It's good to flex the mental muscles again. Been thinking about health care way too much lately. Really enjoyed your poem as I do your comments as well. Good reading you again!
DeleteFantastic and energetic sonnet Gay ~ Love this line best: surprise, implode the status quo ~
ReplyDeleteSo happy that you can join us, smiles ~
Thanks Grace - glad you're onboard to keep dVerse going forward. Your dedication only parallels Brian and Claudia's. Much appreciated.
DeleteThis just rolls along - nice for reading aloud.
ReplyDeleteThe pace is electric. I like the cadence of your piece.
ReplyDelete~Imelda
Beautifully done! I like freer sonnets.
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, yes....I skipped through this like I was dancing with Fred Astaire and we were kicking our heels together!
ReplyDeleteYou have a gift, Gay.
Trace the scroll and lightning bolts are great images. Nicely done.
ReplyDeleteThis rolls and flows with such energy! Wonderful work.
ReplyDeleteHey Gay--this has a Hopkinesque sort of rush and dash to it, all squeezed in--a lot of fun to read, thanks. k.
ReplyDeletethere was a lot of joy in this...
ReplyDeleteGay, my friend--they say that you really need to know the rules to be able to break them effectively and this is so evident in this. First of all, I love the dedication and the whole theme of the poem. Your internal and end rhyme is so good and even without a set meter it flows so smoothly. Kathy said something about dancing I just noticed. Right on.
ReplyDeleteI like your version of the sonnet better, I think. You have written an awesome piece for Brian. Very cool, Gay!
ReplyDeleteGay, a soaring poem worthy of the falcon and Brian. And thank you for the kind words for my broken sonnet - your encouragement is appreciated. K
ReplyDeleteThis soars! Love it!
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